Trying to honor the original - Black X-Mass - A holiday guilty pleasure.

 Trying to honor the original - Black X-Mass - A holiday guilty pleasure. 

In my eyes the original Black Christmas is one of the scariest movies ever made. Like pretty much every classic horror movie it was on the chopping block in the mid to late 2000's when it came to remakes. For the most part remakes for horror movies get a bad name. Why you might ask? Because they remake the wrong movies. Instead of trying to do a modern spin on movies that were poorly made to better them, they rush ahead and do a half ass attempt on cashing in on the title alone. Sadly for Black X-Mass the remake of Black Christmas, this was one of these movies. Pretty much taking a giant shit on the 70's movie, that began the slasher era long before John Carpenter's Halloween, this 2006 remake had so many flaws you honestly can't count them. With an over crowded cast of girls that all look alike, undeveloped characters that are pretty unlikeable, and an awful back story on the killer, everything that was scary about the original movie was undone with this one. In fact the only reasons I like this movie is because A) It was filmed beautifully, in fact the colors, sets, and even the kills are so slick and stunning for the eyes it's a favorite to watch around this time of year after having a few beers. And B). It makes me laugh. Sure the first movie, mostly Mrs. Mac had me dying in scenes from the original, but this movie is so campy it reminds me of the many poorly made slasher films from the 80's. It's a guilty pleasure and in all manners of speaking, it's so bad...it's good.

So here are a few things I noticed about this remake where they tried to "honor" or pay tribute to the classic original.

1) The names Clair, Mrs. Mac, Billy, and Agnes stay the same.

Sure there were new characters, storylines, and backstories with this new batch of girls, but I did like that a few of them had the same names as the girls from the original. Clair plays the "girl" missing who should have gone home for the holidays. There's Mrs. Mac the housekeeper, and of course Billy and the name Agnes, the voice...or voices behind the creepy phone calls.

2) A star from the original returns.

Andrea Martin, who appeared as Phillis, one of the young women murdered in the original Black Christmas appeared this time around as the house mother Mrs. Mac. Rumor has it, Mrs. Martin hadn't even thought about Black Christmas for almost thirty years before the producers called her asking to appear in the film.

3) The glass unicorn.

Even if this time around it doesn't serve the purpose it did in the first film, it's a pretty clever nod to the original movie when one of the girls gives the other one a glass unicorn as a Christmas present. I die at the line "Because you like the Bible and stuff." Nice to see it make a little appearance in this movie.

4) We have another Barb...well sorta...

Nothing will ever beat the role Margot Kidder was born to play back in the 70's. This time around with some truly unlikeable gals, we do have one that truly seems like the queen bee. This girl sits around for pretty much the whole movie mixing so much booze it truly turns my stomach. i mean what kind of idiot does shots and wine? Oh wait I have...

5) Plastic bag realness!

One of the biggest things that freaked me out about the original Black Christmas was the idea of the killer killing Claire with the plastic bag in her closet. In this movie that little trick is a tad overdone. In fact I think a bag gets thrown over nearly every character...seriously...

6) Billy and Agnes...well sorta...

My BIGGEST problem with this movie was the fact they explained who billy was. What made the first film so scary was the fact you never knew, or least thought you knew who the killer was. Giving a backstory on who Billy and Agnes was aka the voices on the phone was such a terrible idea. I mean sure they tired, but yellow skin? Really? I felt like Bart and Lisa Simpson was in this fucking movie. Ehhh...