Thursday, June 28, 2018

Hereditary (2018)

 Hereditary (2018)

PLOT -  After a family's matriarch passes away, a grieving family is haunted by disturbing and tragic occurrences, and begin to unravel dark secrets. 


LOWDOWN - Way back in February, when I took several of my co-workers to go see Winchester for the second time, a new trailer played before hand the movie. Instantly I became interested, as the film was hyping up the fact that it was as scary as The Exorcist, and the last clips that played on the big screen flashed visually stunning moments that felt me unsettled. My co-worker leaned in to me and whispered after the trailer had finished "That looks way too fucking scary." With a grin, I whispered back... "So that means, you want to see it as soon as it comes out." After that in the weeks and months following, I forgot about the movie.

Until a few weeks ago.

Hereditary was getting a wider release, and was brought to us by the same production company that gave us such beautiful and terrifying films like The Witch, and It Comes At Night. In the last ten or so years independent horror yet again found it's own footing, and some truly wonderful projects have remain underrated have been released. About 2 weeks ago a friend and I decided to go check it out late one Thursday night. The only spoiler we had heard was that the young daughter's head somehow gets cut off. To some that's a major spoiler, but to me I just figured there was some gross out decapitation since I went in thinking this was going to be your regular straight out horror movie.

Boy was I wrong...

After leaving the theater, I was able to say that I witnessed wasn't a straight  up horror movie with tons of gore, and jump scares. No, what Hereditary's a smartly written psychological supernatural thriller. What my friend Sean called it was a "Thinking man's horror film." This was a beautiful, and quite disturbing piece on grief and how people handle different types of it. We've all been there before, when a distant family member who we didn't get along with, or felt close with passes. Sometimes it doesn't even need to be a distant family member...maybe it's from a toxic relationship that felt strained and as horrible as you feel, it's relief that's flowing through you instead of sadness. Sometimes you just don't feel sad at all. I love how Annie returns from her mother's funeral and turns towards her husband and asks him if it's wrong she doesn't feel sad? He replies that she can fell whatever way she wants. Even when Steve (the husband) checks in on their teenage son and asks their teenage son Peter if he feels sad over his grandmother's passing, who is said to have lived with them in the last years of her life when she became quite ill. Clearly not having been close with her, he just sorta shrugs, not knowing how to answer this. Steve laughs and nods saying he knows. Sometimes a passing of somebody we know or even a family member isn't a tragedy. Sometimes you just aren't that close to that person despite the relationship, and maybe after a strained time together, or a long illness it's just sorta a relief. I liked how Annie goes to a grief counseling meeting, and opens up about her past relationship with her mother. Earlier at her funeral, she remarks what a complicated relationship they had, and how she's surprised to see so many new faces at her mother's funeral since she was extremely distant to everyone. At the grief meeting, she opens up about what a dark and disturbing history she had with her mother. It's mentioned earlier that Annie's youngest daughter Charlie was her mother's favorite. That she used to insist on breast feeding her daughter when she was a baby (Um, what?) and how when she had her son, she was estranged to her mother (after the disturbing deaths of both her father and brother) The two hadn't spoken for years, and she forbid her mother to come around her newborn son. Finally after years of distance, the two agreed to patch up their broken relationship (her mother suffered from personality disorders, and the details of her father and brother's deaths were VERY disturbing) Here she remarks that she regrets allowing her mother to move in since it appeared that she got her "hooks" into Charlie her daughter. Very settle things are shown and mentioned in the first twenty or so minutes of this film. There are strange words and symbols written on the bedroom walls of Charlie's room, symbols that match the same necklaces Annie wears at her mother's funeral, as well as the same exact necklace her mother is buried in.

Charlie in fact is a very interesting character. When I first saw trailers of Hereditary I wondered what was wrong with the daughter. Her facial structure seemed "off" and this is no slander towards the VERY talented actress who played her. I like that instead of casting some adorable little pre-teen we showed a young girl that seemed just a little "off" and a little different. How she may be slightly mentally slow. The little tick of hers of "clucking" with her tongue. How she's a tomboy and remarks that her grandmother always wished she was a boy. How she seems to have some speech delays, and is constantly wearing this baggy orange sweatshirt, and snacks on candy bars, and makes these really fucking weird toys that are both disturbing, as well as interesting. Made with real animal parts, metal, and string. Clearly something isn't right with Charlie, but you feel bad for her and can relate at being that awkward age, and really not knowing what to do with yourself.

The relationship with Annie and her eldest son Peter is great. Love that even before any of this stuff begins to happen, there's tension between the two of them. It's more than just attitude between a mother and her teenage moody son...there's more. It seems as if every word they speak to each other is filled with tension. Of course as the film goes on we discover the source behind why their relationship is portrayed this way. I loved how Annie insists on Peter taking his younger sister with him to what he claims is a school cookout (In reality it's a party, where he's planning on trying to hook up with his school crush, and smoke lots of pot) Wanting Charlie to get out more and hang with other kids her own age, she insists that she goes with her brother. Here they arrive at a friend's house with is packed with partying teens. Peter ditches his sister to go smoke pot with his crush, but tells his sister to grab a slice of cake while she waits for him. It's revealed early on that Charlie is highly allergic to nuts, and the same knife that's being used to slice the cake was seen moments before chopping nuts (Why somebody was chopping that many nuts at a teenage party is beyond me, but I'm not questioning it!) Charlie takes a slice of cake, and instantly you see her trying to swallow as the allergic reaction begins. As somebody who's very allergic to blueberries this scene really freaked me out. I felt awful watching her as she struggles to breath. Going to her brother, her face swelling, and barley able to breath, Peter carries her out of the party, places her in the backseat, and speeds away towards the hospital.

This is where Hereditary took a left turn and will be remembered for straying away from the typical storytelling form, and became a terrifying realistic drama. While Charlie claws at her throat in the backseat, struggling to breath, Peter pushes 80 in the car, speeding down a back highway towards the hospital. That's when he sees a deer in the road and swerves to avoid hitting it. At that exact moment Charlie rolled down her window, and sticks her head out trying to get more air. Just as this happens, the car swerves and goes very close to a telephone pole. Charlie's head whacks into it, and off her head goes.

Peter slams on the breaks and sits in silence. We as an audience are completely stunned like him. This all happened so fast, and now we're in silence. Peter is still gripping the wheel, staring ahead. He can't even bring himself to look in the rearview mirror, knowing he just accidentally killed his younger sister. He sits there, staring ahead in shock. He even mutters softly "You're okay..." before slowly taking his foot off the break, and driving forward. He returns home, his dead sister's body hanging half in, half out of the car window. He parks, and goes into his house in a trance. He hears his parents in bed for the night say "Good, they're home." as he goes into bed and climbs into bed. Lots of people questioned this, asking why did he just go home and not tell his parents? Why leave the scene of the accident? Lot's of people including the director state because he was in shock. He's a seventeen year old kid with the weight of the world on his shoulders knowing he just accidentally killed his sister. Maybe he wanted his parents to have one last night before the truth of this tragedy set it, or maybe he just wanted to crawl into bed and wake up from this nightmare. Whatever the reason is, the way they filmed the morning after with just a tight close up of Peter's face, as you hear Annie leave the house to run errands, before her blood curlding scream is heard downstairs. Here I found the director making the brilliant choice in not showing the horrific aftermath, but instead relying on the wonderful Toni Collette's acting. Seconds later, we jump to a later scene where Annie is on all fours, dry heaving, screaming, and sobbing as her husband tries to comfort her. I'm not a parent, but I could only imagine the horrifying gut wrenching pain a parent goes through when they suffer a loss like this, let alone one so brutal. I've lost loved ones before, some I haven't fully gotten over, and seeing someone grieve like this spoke volumes. It wasn't over the top, or cheesy. It was gritty, uncomfortable, and very realistic. Moments later the audience gets to see Charlie's mangled head left on the side of the highway the next morning. A bloody pulp, covered in ants. This is an image that I know stuck with many viewers. Nobody wants to see the head of a young girl, let alone rotting in the sunlight, covered in bugs. Yet here it is. Grief and death isn't this pretty little thing. It's ugly, and tragic. This was a very realistic view.

Afterwards we watch this family in the weeks following trying to cope, let alone move on. Annie begins sleeping in her daughter's treehouse with heaters, trying to find any form of comfort to be close to the daughter she suddenly lost. She begins to ignore her work (which were super cool miniature work. I've seen pieces like this before, but the attention to detail is completely insane. One of the coolest shots has to be the opening where it transforms to the house the family lives in, zooming into Peter's room to the actual real house. The cinematography in this film was very beautiful, as were the visual and practical effects. Here we get to see how does a family cope with this horrible loss? Peter of course is haunted by what happened, as well as the guilt eating away at him. Once a carefree stoner, he now is thrusted into this horrible empty lonely world. I loved the scene of him smoking pot with his buddies and suddenly having a panic attack. Things that were once fun aren't anymore. This really hit the nail on the head for me, as well as him trying to build the courage to enter his house after he dumps his bike with Annie just watching/glaring from her car.

One of the most uncomfortable scenes has to be a dinner scene following where you can tell everything the son is doing is annoying Annie, right down to how he's eating. Peter senses this and begs him mother to just get off her chest how she feels and here one of the best acted scenes I've seen nearly all year is played out. When I saw this, everyone and I mean everyone in the theater was silent. My heart broke for these characters as the husband Steve tries his best to be the buffer and keep the peace.

Without really going into a play by play on the each scene, we basically follow Annie as he befriends a woman from the grief group. She lost her grandson and I believe son nearly a year before, and becomes a source of comfort to Annie to explains how horrible it was discovering her daughter's body, and the history behind the tension that's been building between Peter and her. It seems that years ago when Peter and Charlie shared a room. Annie had trouble with sleepwalking and woke up to finding herself spraying paint thinner all over her children, and a box of matches in her hand. Peter woke up terrified of course, and all these years later things haven't been the same despite how much Annie tried to explain that wasn't her, that she was sleeping and completely unaware of what she was doing. Shortly after, her friend invites her over, excited over something that's just happened. It seems she met with a medium, who taught her how to contact her lost loved ones. She shows this to Annie, who of course is completely freaked out. Her friend urges her to try to do so, reciting the same chant she did, and using something that connects back to her daughter (an object of some sort) to make contact and find comfort that she's crossed over. Annie at first is uneasy, but decides to try one night. Thrilled that she actually made contact, she wakes Peter and Steve up and shows them. Quickly this little experiment becomes out of control, and instantly Annie knows something isn't right. 

In the events that follow, we see that this was in fact all a trap for Annie to think she was contacting her daughter's spirit, where actually she was awakening a demon that her mother, and other fellow cult members worshiped for years. It seems that this demon preferred a male host, and had entered Charlie before she was born, knowing that this wasn't quite the right vessel. We watch as Annie discovers these terrifying secrets that mother hid, and how this demon is trying to enter her son who believes he's losing his mind. The third act goes at lighting speed as everything reaches a head.

Without really spoiling the entire end, all I have to say this bravo to this director. Instead of relying on jump scares, he focused on moments that made you uneasy and uncomfortable. Some of the best have to be when a character thinks they see someone standing in the shadows. One of the most affective had to be when Annie thinks she sees her mother after going through her things. Or the famous "cluck" moment that actually made me jump. The last act is bat shit crazy, but one moment that truly stuck out for me had to me when Peter locks himself in the attic, crying for his mother when he hears something and looks up. I won't say who he sees, or what they are doing...but the look on that person's face is why I've been sleeping with my light on the last few weeks. No joke.

I found the ending over the top but in a good way. The music was beautiful, and all of the visuals very terrifying. One character's beautiful soothing voice narrates what's happening, and I gotta say, it really packed a punch for me. This was a wonderful beautiful piece on grief, and really was a stand out film for sure. I'll say it, and I'll say it again. Mohawk, Hereditary, and Winchester were the best movies I've seen so far this year. 

Hereditary will be a hard act to follow for sure.

5 stars!

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Victor Crowley (2017)

Victor Crowley (2017)

PLOT - Ten years after Victor Crowley massacred over forty people and was finally sent back to Hell, the only known survivor Andrew Young (the paramedic from part III) is doing a publicity tour on his book based off the events had took place in 2007. Offered a deal he can't refuse, a small production crew is flying him back to Honey Island Swamp. Unknown to him, a small group of filmmakers, wanting to make a movie based off what happened, accidentally rise the spirit of Victor Crowley. When an unforeseen plane crash happened, the survivors are stuck inside, with Victor doing everything within his power to get inside.

LOWDOWN - I still remember back in 2007 when a friend of mine decided to buy this new horror movie that just so happened to have a huge batch of horror stars in it, and the hype behind it was pretty big. Since we're from New England, she bought it from Newbury Comics, and got a free glass that came with her DVD. We sat down at her house, and watched it.

I. Loved. It. 

I remember I instantly had to go and buy a copy for myself. A few years later while away at school, a friend of mine who also loved the first Hatchet movie, rented part II and both of us were BLOWN away by Tony Todd's big moment at the end of the movie. A year or so later I discovered Hatchet's director Adam Green's other film Frozen, and I still stay true to my belief, this was one of the best/most realistic films that honestly make you wonder "What would I do?" I respected Adam Green, not only for his filmmaking skills, but for being from New England. It was nice seeing more directors and writers from this area since at the moment Eli Roth really wasn't making any films at the time since he was strictly acting at the moment. It wasn't until 2013 that Hatchet III was announced and I instantly knew I needed to go see it since my favorite actor Zach Galligan was set to play the sheriff. The funny thing is, Adam Green announced that he was holding a silent auction, for the tragic Boston Marthon victims that had just happened a month or so before. Here he was going to have some cast and crew from the 3 Hatchet movies, and sell of rare awesome props and prizes for the One Fund cause. The next night he was screening Hatchet 3 for the first time ever, with the cast in the audience. Of course I needed to go, even though I was flying down to Florida to meet Zach Galligan just a week before this. I found it of course laughable that I was flying all this way to meet Zach even though I would be meeting him just a week later in my hometown. Hey YOLO. I talked two of my good friends into going with me, and I gotta say, it was one of the coolest things I ever did. That night I got to see so many cool directors, and actors, AND I won Zach's very own personal Waxwork II crew shirt, which is still one of my favorite pieces of my collection. The next night we got to do a Hatchet marathon in Boston, and got to witness the third and "final" entry in the series which in my eyes was honestly the Aliens of this series. It was action packed, and truly felt like the final film with a pretty awesome ending, with a cast packed full of stars. 

I was happy with how the Hatchet films ended, and thought that was that.

Until this past October when it was revealed that Adam Green's Hatchet 10th anniversary tour was actually a massive reveal to show he had been filming a 4th Hatchet movie in secret over the last two years. I remember everyone was completely losing it over this news, while I just sorta shrugged and went "Eh." I think honestly it was because of two reasons. 1). I was basically sick all of October, which royally sucked, and 2). I felt part 3 really wrapped things up perfectly and just seemed like some dumb way to cash in on a series much like so many other slasher series I love and adore. As much as I love some sequels, there are others that I just roll my eyes about, and wonder why didn't they stop it two or three sequels before when things seemed to be wrapped up neatly and nicely. I witnessed this first hand with the Saw series as a teenager, and figured this was how people viewed the Nightmare On Elm Street and Friday the 13th films back in the 1980's.

I heard mixed things about this entry, and honestly had no interest in seeing it, until about a week or so ago. I had just started my summer break (as well as our fourth annual Sensational Summer) I had just finished wrapping up Slasher Film Week with some other fellow bloggers, and horror fans, and was taking a look at my slashers both on VHS, DVD, and blu-ray. That's when I saw the Hatchet series. I found it such a shame, that I really hadn't dug Adam Green's Digging Up The Marrow, and never watched his TV show based off his hometown. I liked his Scary Sleepover web series, loved Sprial (one of his first films), Frozen, and the first 3 Hatchet films. Even tho, he seemed like total "Bro horror." I had enjoyed this films for what they were, and respected the dude for being kid a heart, a massive fan, and a filmmaker from my area. I've met Adam about 3 times and he's been nothing but a nice guy. So I started I have every single sequel to Nightmare On Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Saw, Puppet Master, Slumber Party Massacre, Halloween, Child's Play, and God knows what else. I sometimes just owned sequels to own them. Some I loved, some I hated. Why was I being such a snob and not check out Green's latest effort where he returns to what he knows best.

Slaughtering people in Honey Island Swamp.

I didn't love Digging Up The Marrow, so who knows maybe returning to a series I really enjoyed might be fun. Besides, what did I have to lose? I was supporting a filmmaker I liked, AND I could say I owned the complete Hatchet series. This wouldn't take away from how much I loved part 3, and if this 4th entry was that much of a shit show I could just pretend like so other movies that it didn't exist. So for the first time since this past December when I got You Better Watch Out (Which I LOVED) I did a blind buy and bought Victor Crowley,

I'm glad I did.

Just a few nights ago I laid back with my A.C blasting, and popped it into my laptop, and right from the start I had to admit, it felt like an Adam Green film, and I was laughing, and shaking my head at all the super over the top moments. Mr. Kane Hodder was back as the second villain he's made famous in his career, and it was just as over the top as the last 3 films. There was tons of gore, body parts, and blood.

I loved how YET again Parry Shen returns, playing AndrewYoung (the paramedic who survived after hiding on the boat with Adam Green's ex wife and Galligan in part 3) Shen's characters throughout the series have always been a riot, and I love that Green calls him his good luck charm in this series. I really liked how it's ten years later, and his character is still trying to cash in on what happened. Having gotten a ghost writer to help him write about his experiences, and doing a publicity tour. I adored Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp was my jam was a pre-teen and the first slasher I ever owned on DVD) as his agent. I love her Long Island accent. The best part has to be her using the post-it notes to cover up Andrew's sign at the book signing when somebody puts a giant dick on it. "One...two...oh wow this is a big one! Three!" Seriously I'm a ten year old kid, this kind of humor kills me. I liked how Andrew married this seedy TV talk-show host who he's divorced to, and agrees to return to the swamp when he's offered a large sum of money. 

The second story taking place at the same time is a small group of young filmmakers, trying to convince Andrew to appear in their fan-made trailer to a low budget film they want to make based off the original murders. The acting here was a little select, but I really loved Laura Ortiz's character Rose. She came across as so likable I might actually check out Green's TV show after all. She was so tiny and adorable, but I died at her ready to throw the hatchet and saying "She may be tiny...but she is fierce." Seriously screamed laughed at that. Hope to see her in more.

I also loved Dave Sheridan (Yes from Scary Movie) He was actually my favorite character, and basically supplied most of the laughs in the entire movie. 

I also really loved how the entire film in the last act takes place in the broken down crashed plane. Green really can take a small setting, and isolate his characters, showing what do you do when you become trapped? (Like the chairlift in Frozen) This was a simple set piece but it worked. Loved the whole, how do they get help? Do they risk running? How can Victor get in? What do they use to fight back? It was basically the boat Andrew was stuck in brought to a whole new level. Some of my favorite moments took place on this place, and was absolutely terrifying whenever Victor tried to get inside. 

I have to admit, when a certain character reveals that they are pregnant (huh? Maybe Green was looking for shock value via Friday the 13th part 3) and how she's trapped underneath seats with water pouring in actually made me super uneasy, and supplied the film with plenty of moments when I felt super uncomfortable and bad. Leave it to Green to one second have me laughing my ass off, then sitting back stunned. 

Even though there isn't as much action as the last entry, it's still highly entertaining, and had lots of cameos from past stars, or people that exist in the horror community. I just wish the opening had been a little stronger. Still, it left us with a shocking ending, and had the most epic of all cameos at the end. So all in all, as much as I thought I was going to hate it, I actually enjoyed this entry for what it was. As of right now my favorite Hatchet movies go as...

Hatchet 3, Hatchet, Victory Crowley, and Hatchet II.

So 3 cheers Adam Green, stick with Honey Island Swamp and I think we're in businesses. 

3 1/2 stars!

Monday, June 25, 2018

10 movies to watch to get into the vacation state of mind!

10 movies to watch to get into the vacation state of mind!
There's honestly nothing better durning the summer than to crack open a few cold beers, crank up the A.C, and pop in some awesome movies. Tonight at Staystillreviews' HQ we're currently watching the 1989 cult classic The Burbs. Wanting to "dig" up some other classics that will get you into the vacation state of mind!

1) The Burbs
- A group of bored surburanites one summer become convinced that the new neighbors who are rarely seen are actually a group of psychos who are burying bodies in their basement.

2) Summer School
- A gym teacher who teaches for three reasons (June, July, and August) is forced to teach summer school to a group of misfits. Deciding to bribe them into learning, he actually figures out his zany style of teaching is quite helpful.

3) Jaws
- A small New England coastal town is terrorized by a giant great white man eating shark. It's up to a crazed fisherman, scientist, and local sheriff to stop it durning the 4th of July holiday.

4) Return Of The Living Dead
- A toxic gas is accidentally released at a medical warehouse which causes the dead to come back to life durning the 4th of July weekend. Here the warehouse workers, a funeral home owner, and a group of punk rockers become trapped as they fight off the hundreds of zombies that have just risen from the local cemetery. 

5) Friday the 13th part 3
- Jason returns, wounded and still looking for young teenagers to slaughter around the Crystal Lake area. Here he sets his sights on a group partying at a local cabin.

6) Piranha 
- Man eating piranha are accidentally released into a river that just so happens to have a summer camp, and a huge resort attached to it.

7) Sleepaway Camp
- A shy young girl and her cousin attend summer camp, and are constantly bullied and picked on. Over the course of the summer several "accidental" deaths take place. Are they really accidents? Or is there a crazed killer walking around?

8) Ghoulies II
- The little demons from Hell escape, and wander into a traveling carnival and decide to hide in a huge haunted house where guests believe they are part of the attraction. 

9) The Lost Boys
- Two brothers and their newly divorced mother move to a coastal town one summer, only to discover that it's the murder capital of the world. Here the eldest becomes involved in a local gang who also happen to be blood sucking vampires.

10) Day Of The Dead
- In the third installment in the Dead Trilogy, a year or so has passed since the virus passed, and now a small group of scientist and military are holding up in an underground bunker trying to figure out a cure for what's happened, as well as trying not to kill each other. Finally one scientist believes he's found the answer to what's happened when he shows off a zombie that still remembers when he was a human...

So what other movies do you love to watch around this time of year? Let me know!

Sunday, June 24, 2018

Chip's 4th of July mixed tape take 2!

 Chip's 4th of July mixed tape take 2!

It's that time again! Yep, where Chip is planning his annual 4th of July beach bash where there will be volleyball, fireworks, cheap beer, cool waves, and his totally tubular mixed tape for this year's 4th of July! Click below for a listen and party like it's 1986 with Chip as he celebrates America and 6 wonderful years over here at Staystillreviews!!!

So break out the old boombox, and blast some killer tunes Chip style this year. Nothing says the good old USA more than a truly awesome mixed tape! A huge thanks to everyone to reads Staystillreviews and follows my crazy little blog. I've been running it for 6 years, and it's because of all of you that I still get a kick out watching what zany adventures our mascot Chip will get into. Remember to stay tuned for more updates because this is going to be one killer summer!!!

 Also the winner to our 4th of July giveaway will be announced on the 4th! To enter just repost on IG or Facebook!!! Good luck!

Friday the 13th part 2 drinking game!

 Friday the 13th part 2 drinking game!

Chip is living for his week of summer camp fun. In fact, he's currently brainstorming an idea for next summer, where he'll pool together his change, and maybe open Camp Staystillreviews, which he's certain will probably burn down to the ground a week in. Until then, he's working as a camp lifeguard, working on his tan, picking up chicks, and hopefully keeping an eye on those pesky campers so another "Crystal Lake" incident doesn't happen again. Speaking of Crystal celebrate here's a pretty awesome drinking game you can play to Friday the 13th part 2. Remember councilors, don't drink and canoe!

Drink when...
Somebody mentions bears
Somebody talks about "Camp Blood."
The name Jason is spoken.
Someone screams.

Take a shot when...
Somebody dies.

Waterfall when...
Mark goes down the stairs in his wheelchair.
Ginny uses the machete to whack Jason in the shoulder.
Jason lunges through a window.

Have fun and watch out for those stairs!!!

Saturday, June 23, 2018

5 reasons why Twisted Nightmare is a classic slasher!

 5 reasons why Twisted Nightmare is a classic slasher!

Last winter after some pretty tough dental work, I sat wide awake on pain killers, my mouth swollen like a chipmunk, and an ice pack pressed against the left side of my face as I finished watching one of my favorite entries from the Friday the 13th series, which was the classic part 3 in 3D. I of course, unable to sleep feeling as if the entire side of my face had been hacked open by Jason himself, cruised IMDB and noticed a very interesting bit of trivia on part 3. A slasher by the name of Twisted Nightmare had also been filmed at the same exact location as part 3, which included the cabin AND famous barn where Chris and Jason go head to head. Instantly I knew I needed to see this movie. Lucky for me, due to my Apple TV, I was able to search this movie on Youtube and find it instantly.

Boy, little did I know I was in for quite the treat. Believe it or not despite it's many flaws, I really enjoyed this hidden gem, and hope to track down the blu-tray ASAP. Until then, this gem will be watched via my VHSPS copy as my summer camp rotation. So tonight I'm here to pick apart five main reasons why this film is a classic slasher!

1) Filmed at the same location as Friday the 13th part 3. Dur...
- I don't think this is any shocker that this was the main reason why I watched this film to begin with. Sadly the main cabin burned down a few years back, but as far as I know thanks to Camp Crystal Lake Memories, the barn still stands! It's super interesting to see so many familiar areas seen in this film that you'll remember from Friday the 13th part 3. I loved how clearly they shot one of the characters falling into a lake at a different location since when they shot part 3, they had to construct a man made lake.

2) An actual scary killer.
- The Matthew character is actually super scary. I love how his death was supposed to be caused by some supernatural forces ( I guess that means you'll self combust randomly if you enter a dark barn) And how he returns a giant beast. This was actually pretty cool, how he's driven by dark magic, and has super human strength and this massive lurking figure. I have to admit, there were a few scenes when he jumped out that even I caught myself muttering "Holy shit..."

3) Some really awesome deaths.
- This movie has a huge cast of young couples. I do have to laugh over the cheesy acting, and montages of couples together basically having sex, not even caring anyone else is in the same room as them. YOLO. Still, once Matthew starts killing, some of the deaths are brutal. Like using the sauna rock against the face, the electrical fence, OR the little nod to Silent Night Deadly Night by ramming a girl into antlers. Awesome. 

4) The Laura character.
- This actress was stunning. Now here are some spoilers here, avoid reading any further if you haven't seen this! - I love how Matthew is actually driven by his crazed grief ridden sister looking for revenge. That she actually set up everyone heading to Camp Paradise, believing all of her old friends were somehow responsible for her slow brother's death (Um, okay) Here she used dark magic to summon an evil nearly unstoppable spirit that's taken the "twisted" form of her dead brother to collect revenge. One of the best deaths has to pan back and forth from the sauna with that killer music playing as a character is attacked in slow motion all the way to Laura's stunning blue eyes sitting by the fire.

5) The ending.
- This ending showdown actually takes place in the famous barn. I really love how much happens so quickly, and the characters you think are going to make it actually don't. Without going into too much detail, this film was quite explosive...he he he...

So I can't urge horror and slasher fans enough to go check out Twisted Nightmare ASAP! It's a great watch to kick summer off with!

Friday, June 22, 2018

Worst summer camps ever!!!

 Worst summer camps ever!!!

Chip has finished his slasher marathon while lounging poolside. Next stop...summer camp! Yep, that's right. After spending a weekend partying at Camp TNUC, Chip is hopping on his BMX bike, and making the journey to visit some of the best and worst summer camps in the area. With horny camp councilors, bratty campers, hot summer sun, food fights in the rec hall, late night skinny dips, cheap beer, and spooky camp fire tales being told, Chip is making a list of some of the worst camps he visited this week. Take note fellow campers and councilors! These are some camps you definitely don't wanna visit!!!

Camp Crystal Lake - Aka Camp Blood
- God where do I even begin? Chip was originally going to visit every location on Crystal Lake, but after his first destination he opted out of the rest of his planned journey. First off, the place has the nickname by "Camp Blood." There have been fires, poisoned water, snakes, crazed town drunks, deputies who are trying to see who's smoking the devil's lettuce, and worse...crazed mothers looking for revenge. Chip didn't stay long at Camp Crystal Lake...but he certainly was happy to hop on his bike before this so called "Jason" showed up. Yikes!

Camp Arawak 
- Chip made his way to Camp Arawak only to be disappointed and find out the place had closed down the season before. One of the groundskeepers who was boarding everything up told him that a ton of shit had gone down. The original owner was a sleazeball who basicaly kept the camp open even after several "accidentally" deaths. He was also trying to score with his staff, and even charmed some panties off some of the councilors! Plus there was that creepy cook who called the campers "Baldies" AND this sweet shy girl named Angela. I guess some shit went down at the waterfront. Weird...

Camp Paradise 
- Chip honestly thought he got turned around when he thought he found Higgins Haven off Crystal Lake. Well guess again, it was Camp Paradise! This wasn't exactly the most thrilling location, and Chip was warned to stay FAR away from the barn as well as this smoking hot babe who's brother Matthew I guess was due back any time...hum...

Camp North Pines
- Jesus, Chip didn't stay long at this one. Originally Chip was thinking of applying as a job as a camp councilor here since he heard nothing but good things and needed beer money for the summer. Strange, once he got there none of the councilors were anywhere to be found. There were kids anywhere, singing about beef bologna, raising Hell, and basically becoming tiny crazed little psychopaths. The second Chip saw this he said "Nope!" jumped on his bike, and headed to the next location. 

Camp Blackstone
- Can poor Chip catch a break? He decided to visit Camp Blackstone shortly after there was a very unfortunate series of events that plagued a trip a bunch of the councilors and campers took down river. Chip doesn't know details, but all of the campers seemed extra on edge when they gathered around the camp fire that night telling ghost stories.

Camp Rolling Hills
- Chip was first approached by a girl who asked if he wanted to screw, and then asked if he said AIDS? After that he noticed two twin sisters lighting up joints, and sneaking a few bottles into the woods, before a very creepy, and cheerful camp councilor named Angela asked if he was attending camp, and if he had good morals. Faster than you can say "Chick who used to have a dick!" Chip jumped on his bike and got the HELL out of here! Whoa!

So in closing, Chip is giving plenty of warning on which camps to avoid this summer. Instead he'll swing by the more happening ones where music is blasting, the campers are off making Indian rock piles, and the councilors are partying like it's 1986!
Stay tuned this week for more summer camp fun with Chip!