Worst summer camps ever!!!

 Worst summer camps ever!!!

Chip has finished his slasher marathon while lounging poolside. Next stop...summer camp! Yep, that's right. After spending a weekend partying at Camp TNUC, Chip is hopping on his BMX bike, and making the journey to visit some of the best and worst summer camps in the area. With horny camp councilors, bratty campers, hot summer sun, food fights in the rec hall, late night skinny dips, cheap beer, and spooky camp fire tales being told, Chip is making a list of some of the worst camps he visited this week. Take note fellow campers and councilors! These are some camps you definitely don't wanna visit!!!

Camp Crystal Lake - Aka Camp Blood

- God where do I even begin? Chip was originally going to visit every location on Crystal Lake, but after his first destination he opted out of the rest of his planned journey. First off, the place has the nickname by "Camp Blood." There have been fires, poisoned water, snakes, crazed town drunks, deputies who are trying to see who's smoking the devil's lettuce, and worse...crazed mothers looking for revenge. Chip didn't stay long at Camp Crystal Lake...but he certainly was happy to hop on his bike before this so called "Jason" showed up. Yikes!

Camp Arawak 

- Chip made his way to Camp Arawak only to be disappointed and find out the place had closed down the season before. One of the groundskeepers who was boarding everything up told him that a ton of shit had gone down. The original owner was a sleazeball who basicaly kept the camp open even after several "accidentally" deaths. He was also trying to score with his staff, and even charmed some panties off some of the councilors! Plus there was that creepy cook who called the campers "Baldies" AND this sweet shy girl named Angela. I guess some shit went down at the waterfront. Weird...

Camp Paradise 

- Chip honestly thought he got turned around when he thought he found Higgins Haven off Crystal Lake. Well guess again, it was Camp Paradise! This wasn't exactly the most thrilling location, and Chip was warned to stay FAR away from the barn as well as this smoking hot babe who's brother Matthew I guess was due back any time...hum...

Camp North Pines

- Jesus, Chip didn't stay long at this one. Originally Chip was thinking of applying as a job as a camp councilor here since he heard nothing but good things and needed beer money for the summer. Strange, once he got there none of the councilors were anywhere to be found. There were kids anywhere, singing about beef bologna, raising Hell, and basically becoming tiny crazed little psychopaths. The second Chip saw this he said "Nope!" jumped on his bike, and headed to the next location. 

Camp Blackstone

- Can poor Chip catch a break? He decided to visit Camp Blackstone shortly after there was a very unfortunate series of events that plagued a trip a bunch of the councilors and campers took down river. Chip doesn't know details, but all of the campers seemed extra on edge when they gathered around the camp fire that night telling ghost stories.

Camp Rolling Hills

- Chip was first approached by a girl who asked if he wanted to screw, and then asked if he said AIDS? After that he noticed two twin sisters lighting up joints, and sneaking a few bottles into the woods, before a very creepy, and cheerful camp councilor named Angela asked if he was attending camp, and if he had good morals. Faster than you can say "Chick who used to have a dick!" Chip jumped on his bike and got the HELL out of here! Whoa!

So in closing, Chip is giving plenty of warning on which camps to avoid this summer. Instead he'll swing by the more happening ones where music is blasting, the campers are off making Indian rock piles, and the councilors are partying like it's 1986!

Stay tuned this week for more summer camp fun with Chip!