Saturday, January 12, 2013

Deadly Weapon poster story

 Deadly Weapon poster story...
While unrolling some of my posters I've had in storage, I was delighted when I found my Deadly Weapon poster which is by far one of the rarest and oddest pieces in my film collection. In fact, it has a pretty funny story behind it...

Back in 2010 when I was going to school at Savini, there was this little shit box video store in the town of Monessen PA. Now I'm not talking an awesome old school mom and pop video store that had tons of VHS tapes, I'm talking this backwoods hick video store on it's last limbs with a pretty shitty section of DVDs. I first happened upon this store one day taking a walk with one of my roommates when she told me that somebody said the guy who owned it had a ton of posters from old movie. Of course my curiously was struck and we walked the three or four blocks to the store only to find it closed. I was bullshit! A few weeks later we found out that this store was on the verge of closing since the owner was older than the hands of time and only opened the store on Thursdays. Deciding to make the trip out there, my friends and I walked back and wandered inside.

The store was seriously the size of a matchbox and smelled of rotting wood and mothballs. There were two old men playing chess, and all of their movies looked to be at least ten years old. While there I ended up buying their only copy of the Willard remake (what can I say, I love me some Crispin Glover.) and found a huge pile of old rolled up movie posters. My friends dug right in, unrolling them and trying to figure out what they had.

I went through them, really not impressed with what they had. My friend did score a pretty awesome My Mother Is A Werewolf poster, and a Buffy The Vampire Slayer one. In fact she ended up also buying a pretty awesome  Corrina, Corrina poster in which graced our apartment for my entire stay at school. Trust me...this is what nightmares were made out of.

While sorting through the posters I froze and couldn't believe my eyes.

There laying among all the other posters was a tiny Deadly Weapon poster.

Deadly Weapon is a very cheesy 80's movie starring Rodney Eastman from A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 and 4. I think I speak for many female horror movie fans saying that Rodney was a huge cutie back in the day and hated to see him die having the ultimate 'wet dream' in Nightmare 4. Rodney really didn't have much of a career, but back in 1989 he had the starring role in Deadly Weapon, which is a very underrated  Empire Pictures title. 

I discovered this movie way back in 2006 when I got it from a friend of mine for my birthday. This VHS is seriously awesome. It's cover is the type (the technical name is escaping me at the moment) that changes when you move it. The sort that's made out of plastic. On the cover it shows a decked out Rodney with his face painted holding his deadly weapon (get your minds out of the gutter...) and changes to an explosion. Trust me, if you were a child of the 80's or 90's you spend many times moving these types of VHS covers around in amazement via Jack Frost.

The movie itself really isn't that good. It's poorly written and has so much cheese it's oozing...still I enjoyed it. The movie is about a painfully shy and awkward teenager named Zeke who is bullied, picked on, and abused. Living in a small Arizona town, Zeke lives in a fantasy that he's really an alien from another planet which explains why he's so misunderstood, and awaits the day the "mother ship" will return and take him back where he belongs. Truth is, Zeke is just a messed up kid who's mother left him with his abusive stepfather. One rainy night a military truck accidentally looses a very important case which falls off and into the river below. The following morning Zeke discovers it and finds inside what's best to describe as a laser gun. Deciding to wear the pack that's attached to the gun, he thinks he's found something cool and simply shrugs it off returning home. 

It isn't long until his stepfather seriously flips his shit and brutally kills Zeke's beloved dog with a baseball bat! Of course this finally pushes Zeke off the edge who uses his newly discovered weapon and blows his stepfather away.


It isn't long before Zeke takes the gun into town at a local arcade and fires his gun away at all the bullies that were giving him shit. Somehow in just the matter of minutes things go out of control and if memory serves me right, he takes a bunch of hostages (such as the sheriff, the mayor, and some other people.) Zeke enjoys his new power and holds up in the arcade having everyone tied up with wires from a pinball machine (...) The most popular girl in town who Zeke has some seriously puppy love for, likes the new excitement and stays by his side. In no time the military finds out about what's happened and discovers how dangerous this weapon can be. 

Without giving too much away, the ending is pretty downbeat and really didn't seem to fit with the rest of the movie. I honestly think it's one of the few things that sorta makes this movie watchable. It goes from being very bizarre and silly, to pretty serious stuff which ends tragically. Now I'll admit, this movie is a turd. It's low budget, weird, and cheesy. But hey...isn't that half the movies I adore from this decade? It has plenty of flaws (the principle who spanks Zeke, the narration, the over the top bulling and abusive towards Zeke...I mean really we get the point, nobody likes him! Still, even though it was a weird little movie (I love the popular girl painting his face, having sex with him in a field, and Zeke telling his speech about how she can just go home, watch TV...take a shower...I was seriously dying laughing during this.) But it's supposed to be this way. I think the three main reasons why I even like and own this movie is because first Rodney Eastman being in it. I mean hey...he was pretty easy on the eyes back then. Second, the VHS cover, and third the ending. I recomend it only to fans of Rodney, and people who are really looking for a cheesy 80's movie that's so over the top you can barley stand it. 

Anywho, back in 2008 I was lucky enough to meet Rodney Eastman at Monster Mania when they were having a Dream Master show. Rodney was very nice and blown away by the items I brought to him. (The Deadly Weapon VHS, and the Nightmare On Elm Street sneakers.) In fact, he even said I might be one of his coolest fans ever. (nerd squeal!) Rodney even showed his agent my Deadly Weapon VHS and couldn't believe I owned a copy. Funny thing, I was pretty star struck when I met him so when he went to sign it he asked me what he could put, and I shrugged and said "Well...there's so many good quotes..." and he said which one was my favorite, in which I totally blanked and just went "Uh...didn't you have a dog in the movie?" He sorta stared at me like I was an idiot and ended up wrting this.

 = I'm an idot

I still laugh and think of that every time I look at it.

Anywho, going back to the poster story...I was blown away they even had this so of course I ended up getting it. This little baby hung in my room at school the entire time I was there and was very loved by myself. When I returned to Boston I ended up framing this little baby which it sits in my den proudly. 

So the moral of this story goes to show you that you can find the strangest most amazing things in the oddest of places. 

I hope someday I'll get the chance to meet Rodney again to have him sign this. In fact I bought another VHS copy of this movie last year to have it not personalized or have a fucking quote that reminds me of what a dumbass I was. 

So go check out Deadly Weapon...if you dare...



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