Monday, February 16, 2015

Characters who caused other people's deaths...

 Characters who caused other people's deaths...

There is always that one or two characters that make some REALLY stupid choices and a domino effect starts happening resulting in several if not more other people's deaths. Love em, or hate them here they are.


Nicole and Steve - Dawn Of The Dead (2004)
- As we all know I worship the original (1978) Dawn Of The Dead, and as mad as I am at those damn bikers "Damn you Savini!" for being responsible for letting those zombies in AND killing Flyboy, I somehow get more bothered by the beyond stupid series of events that happen in the 2004 remake. First off Nicole was the biggest waste of a character ever. The fact she goes after Chips the dog even after it's made clear the zombies aren't interested in doggy meat. Her crashing the truck across the street to the gun store and just having to get rescued always really bothers me. Call me a heartless bitch but you wanted to go after the dog, you find a way to get back now. Then Steve who doesn't open the door for the guys, leading the zombies into the mall, and then having the boat keys on him. I'm sorry but even if it was his boat everyone was running to, who would trust him with the keys? Because of this the really only good character Michael (Jake Weber) is bit. "Sigh..." such a waste. 

Mary and Lila Loomis - Psycho II
- I adore Psycho II. In fact dare I even say it really does give the original classic a run for it's money. This mystery continues halfway through the movie making the audience wonder "Who's trying to drive Norman crazy?" It honestly could be anyone, or even..."Gasp!" Mrs. Bates?! Well low and beyond it's Mary and Lila Loomis the mother and daughter team who have thought up this entire plan from the second Norman was released. I really did love the Mary and Norman characters and how of course Mary has second thoughts feeling sorry for Norman once the plan goes into action. Of course at the very end when Mrs. Spool reveals herself (dumbest twist e-v-e-r) she explains the reason why she started killing was she saw what Mary and Lila were up to, and couldn't bare the thought of anyone bothering her little boy. Because of Mary and Lila, Mrs. Spool begins killing which results in Norman going insane again and causes the events of part 3 to happen. Looks like the Loomis ladies got exactly what they wanted.

Idiot boat councilors - Sleepaway Camp
- I somehow always crack up at the beginning of Sleepaway Camp. Two beyond dumb ass characters are taking a speed boat out so one of the campers can attempt water skiing (CAN'T WE STOP NOW?!) It kills me how the two dumb asses are actually in charge of running a speed boat while the camper looks completely terrified (what kind of camp is this?) Due to the weakness of a pretty face, the driver of the boat allows the idiot girl councilor to drive the boat which results in them running over the Baker family killing the father, and young daughter leaving poor Peter orphaned which results in him going to live with his crazy aunt who raises him as his dead sister Angela. This of course royalty fucks with him and years later being forced to go to camp and being teased by others leads to a bloody massacre in this film and it's sequels. 

Sampson and his friends - Hatchet 
- It's almost a rite of passage that a bunch of dumb ass kids teasing somebody helpless always ends up with bloodshed. Thanks to Sampson and two of his childhood buddies, they decide it would be a killer idea to set fire crackers off at the Crowley cabin which ends up setting a fire on the porch. Poor Mr. Crowley tries chopping down the cabin door with a hatchet and ends up accidentally killing his poor deformed son making his cursed soul rise from the grave and kill anyone who enters his swamp. I'm mostly mad at these kids because if they hadn't of done that...Zach Galligan in part III would have lived. Just saying...

Barry and Claudette - Friday the 13th 
- Ah, the two councilors who just COULDN'T keep it in their pants and were responsible for a series of events that resulted in more than 200 deaths. You see Barry and Claudette were councilors at Camp Crystal Lake who were fooling around when they should have been watching Jason, a poor little retarded boy who was son to the camp cook. While they were macking it most likely behind a cabin all of the other campers attacked Jason, picking on him and making him fall into the water of the lake where he drowned. This of course drove his mother insane who returned a year later to kill Barry and Claudette. "We weren't doing anything we were just fooling around!" = Best opening e-v-e-r. Well if you ask me Barry and Claudette got off easy because Jason's mom went on another massacre years later when the camp tried to re-open. Here we find out that she was seriously insane and that somehow...someway Jason didn't drown. In fact he washed up on shore and lived in the woods too scared to come out of hiding (okay?) Well Jason saw his mother get killed which made him go on a rampage killing ANYONE who went to Crystal Lake. The man has done it all, he's fought Freddy, gone to New York, space, and even Hell. Thanks a lot Barry and Claudette. 

Chris - Carrie 
- Just like in Hatchet, there is some poor helpless person who gets picked on by a group of assholes. In Stephen King's classic novel, these asshole are a bunch of teenagers in the 1970's who get their rocks off by picking on poor Carrie White. The awkward, church mouse of a girl who lives with her abusive mother. After taking the teasing one step too far after poor Carrie gets her first period at school, Chris is kicked out of school which means she'll miss prom. Well, after getting her boyfriend and other idiots in her group to think of a master plan to get Carrie back, they pull some "strings" and fix it to have Carrie win prom queen at the dance. At Carrie's happiest moment, Chris ruins it all when she dumps a bucket full of pig's blood on her. This unleashes Carrie's terrifying power of mind control. Here Carrie loses it after she's drenched in blood, and her prom date is accidentally killed. Locking the doors, Carrie slowly starts to take out everyone who "laughed" at her, setting fire to the gym, and killing everyone there. Don't mess with a girl on her period Chris...take notes.

Miguel - Day Of The Dead
- Oh Miguel, Miguel, Miguel. What is there to say? My least favorite character in the entire Dead series.  A solider breaking underneath all the pressure of the world ending. After getting bit and pretty much being the reason why two men died, his girlfriend Sarah (who he treats like complete dog shit) cuts off his infected arm after getting bit by a zombie. Instead of being grateful for this at least flicking chance at life, Miguel decides if he's going to die...everyone else should. Going up to of the military bunker, he leads all the flesh eating zombies onto the elevator platform and pretty much allows himself to get eaten alive but not before lowering the platform and letting all of the zombies into the bunker. = Really Miguel...what did that accomplish? Besides, you killed bastard!

Todd and friends - The Burning
- More asshole kids causing bad things to happen! At the beginning of The Burning, we witness a group of kids who decide to pull a prank on the mean groundskeeper Crospy. Putting a rotting skull in his cabin with candles inside, they bang on the window before he drunkly wakes up to see the skull. Frightened, he knocks the skull and candles over and sets his entire bunk on fire. Within seconds the harmless prank ends up with Crospy completely on fire leaving most of his body horribly burned. Well years later Crospy is released from the hospital and decides to take out his revenge on a bunch of new campers at another camp. Poor Fisher Stevens...

Roman - Scream 3
- The man who started it all. As much as I hate part 3 (besides the opening) it did pull a pretty cool twist at the end with the reveal of the killer. Sidney's slutty mother I guess was in a gang bang in Hollywood in the 1970's. Well that gang bang resulted in a bastard baby she didn't want. Here she gave it up, moved away and started a nice Apple pie life in Woodsboro before he shows up at her door years later wanting a nice family reunion. Well, Sid's mother wasn't having any of that and slammed the door in his face. This led to Roman showing Billy Loomis footage he had shot while following his long lost mother around town. Setting Billy off, he killed his mother and pretty much pushed Billy and Stu into the killings in part 1. Well with Billy being killed in part 1, that led to Mrs. Loomis and Mickey killing in part 2, and so on and so forth, ect. Thanks to Roman the whole Woodsboro killings began and set all these crazy people off one after another. Thanks Roman...ya dick!

The Springwood parents - A Nightmare On Elm Street 
- You really can't blame these parents for what they did. (In deleted scenes in the original you find out that most of the parents had older children who were killed and molested by Freddy as well) I mean I'm not a parent, but just try to put yourself in those people's shoes. You're children are murdered, and the younger ones most likely molested. The guy responsible is set free, off to go do it again. I think they had the best intensions, but sadly this ended up with Freddy being re-born able to get their surviving children years later in their dreams where they are completely helpless. One by one the Elm Street children are killed off, and later in the sequels opens up for all of the Springwood children to be killed. Maybe life in jail would have been a better choice guys...

Lanyard Gates/Suzanne - Popcorn 
- One of my all time favorite backstories to a slasher is the Popcorn one. Here we learn that Lanyard Gates was a filmmaker/cult leader in the 1960's making weird films and making his audience drop acid to watch them. Well after his first film was laughed at, he decided to make his final film, acting out the very last scene on stage with his family. Killing his wife, and planning on killing his young daughter (who he was feeding acid to at the time) his sister in-law Suzanne had enough to stormed the stage after her sister was murdered and shot Lanyard, who knocked over some candles, setting the theater on fire. Suzanne and Sarah aka Maggie got out alive but everyone else in the audience including poor Toby and his mother were caught inside. Toby's mother was killed, but he was able to get out with his entire body horribly burned. After years of learning how to hide his burnt body, he goes on a killing spree trying to finish the film that was being shown the night of the fire. 

No comments:

Post a Comment