Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Top 10 kills from the Jaws movies.

 Top 10 kills from the Jaws movies.

Celebrating Shark Week in style! Here are my top 10 favorite kills from the Jaws series!!!

1) Chrissie's last swim
- One of the movie's most iconic deaths. This movie starts off with a bang as we follow Chrissie, a young hippy who's visiting Amity Island and spending her night/early morning parting with strangers smoking dope, sitting around a campfire, drinking beers, and listening to music. The 1970's certainly were a very different time. Well, Chrissie meets a young man, the two run down the beach to go skinny dipping. The guy passes out while trying to undress himself (like a boss!) while Chrissie swims out crazy far only to have our film's villain swim up and take a bite. During this scene we never actually see the shark, but the insane thrashing and dragging of Chrissie is beyond unsetting. What always gets me is her final words screaming out completely helpless, most likely suffering from shock "JUST WAKE UP! JUST WAKE UP!" Sorry Chrissie...this wasn't any dream.

2) The most disturbing death of the series.
- I really gotta hand it to filmmakers whenever they actually kill a child. This scene is beautifully shot. Love the tension building as you actually feel like the chief, trying to keep an eye on the swimmers as people pass by and bother him. I always believed it was the yellow float and attracted Bruce. I mean to him it was basically a yummy snack on a piece of bread! The most disturbing moment has to be when the shark first attacks and you see an explosion of blood before Alex is dragged down. My heart always breaks for his mother as she hurries to the shore only to discover his float chewed to pieces. 

3) Quint's slip n slide.
- Quint is the true MVB in the Jaws movies. A crazed fishermen who has a little bit of baggage and a major bone to pick with sharks. He truly does play as the comic relief through the film as he teases Hooper, making his life a living Hell, makes some insane calls (Love whenever he bashes the radio with the baseball bat and says "Excuse me Chief...") and of course tells his chilling speech of what happened to him during WWII. Still, talk about one hell of a way to die. The shark legit leaps up on the boat like a fucking bird and poor Quint slides right into his mouth but doesn't go down without a fight. Here he grabs a machete and gets in a few good stabs before being bitten in half. Way to go Quint!!!

4) Return to the Orca.
- Part II opens with a bang as two rich scuba divers are exploring the bottom of the sea only to stumble upon the sunken remains of the famous Orca from the original movie. (Always love hearing the original theme from the movie.) Here the two snap photos using an underwater camera only to have Bruce 2.0 to swim up behind them and attack with lighting speed.

5). Worst Waterski trip e-v-e-r.
- Props to whoever has ever tried to water ski. That takes talent. What takes even more talent is having a great white attack from directly behind you. This gag has been used countless times in movies. Jaws 2 was one of the best to display this terrifying moment.. At least it looked quick...right?

6) Nice move lady!
- Following the shitty water ski meal, Bruce 2.0 attacks the woman driving the boat. I understand one panics when a 2000 pound shark is chewing away at your boat. Still, this woman makes the fatal mistake of dumping gas (what was that even doing on the boat to begin with? Isn't that a huge no, no?) And when she tries to fire a flare gun at the beast she ends up catching on fire and making the whole boat explode. Yikes!!!

7) The whale...
- Poor Willy...I know how horrible this is but Jaws 2.0 was a complete asshole. Really? A killer whale? Pick on somebody your own size...

8) Overman.
- Poor Overman. The sexy scuba repair man who looked like he belonged making porn in the 1970's. This guy stays after hours, dives into the water only to get chomped by Bruce 3.0. What's worse is when his remains are found days later after being in the water. As much as this movie gets shit, I adore it. It's B movie fun, and Overman's corpse is a perfect example of practical effects!

9) Philip's swan song.
- I loved Philip the asshole photographer in Jaws 3. He was charming, British, sexy, and knew how to get a good matter what the cost was. If anyone is a fan of this character I urge you to check out the original screenplay where Philip has a MUCH bigger role in. Sadly Philip takes his final dangerous risk to get the perfect shot and ends up getting swallowed whole inside the shark's mouth. What makes it even more terrifying is Philip is still alive in the shark's mouth and ends up getting smushed like a pancake. Still, we can owe him this much, he gets stuck in the shark's teeth making it possible for the leads to kill the shark afterwards. Yikes.

10) Bruce 4.0
- Jaws 4...the bastard of the entire series. Still, we gotta put our hands up for Ellen. This poor woman's entire life has basically been wrecked due to sharks. They terrorized her husband and children countless times, her husband who clearly she adored died of a heart attack (she claims it was due to the fear of the beast returning), and then her youngest son Sean is brutally attacked and killed by a shark. Sean's death is heartbreaking, but it's Ellen's story slowly trying to pick up the pieces is what really gets me. Here is a widow, and a woman who's lost a child. Jaws 4 is truly a movie about her and how in the end she's finally had enough and kicks major ass. Here she drives her son's boat straight into the roaring shark (Yes, you read that right.) and gives zero fucks. Bruce 4.0's death is epic simply because of how truly horrible and over the top it is. I mean look above...this is an actual shot in the movie. I really don't think I need to say anything else here.

Happy shark week everyone!!!

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