Tuesday, December 23, 2014

The top ten worst gifts you could ever receive!

 The top ten worst gifts you could ever receive!
With just a few days left before Christmas many of us are going into the stores like the zombies from Dawn Of The Dead. Just looking around without so much as a care in the world, dreaming of when we can get home and knock back some booze. Well here is a list of don'ts when you find yourself shopping this holiday season!

10) Anything from Curious Goods
- As much as my fantasy is to live/work at Curious Goods (aka to just live with John D LeMay), I really wouldn't enjoy getting a gift from this store. They sell it all. Snow globes, mirrors, dolls, makeup kits, cameras, playhouses, and even pool sticks! Stupid Uncle Lewis made a deal with the Devil, causing every object that's been sold to be cursed and more than likely resulting in death. Yep, no thanks.

9) The Amityville lamp
- One of the first "cursed" objects from the famous Amityville house and based off the bestseller novel Amityville The Evil Escapes. This lamp is so ugly...it's pretty. Looking like a giant tree with arms, it not only has the longest cord in the history of lamps...but also has a demon living inside it!

8) The Amityville mirror
- Another cursed object from Amityville house. Not exactly a welcoming piece of furniture, but still one Hell of a Yankee Swap gift ifyaknowwhatImean!

7) The Amityville clock
- Ah my favorite out of all of them. a cursed clock from Amityville that can fast forward and reverse time as well as possess and kill? Hey if Damon Martin came with the clock wrapped in a bow I would be all set!

6) Anything from Needful Things
- Just like Curious Goods, this is another store that you shouldn't visit during the holiday shopping season. Sure such items as a first edition of Treasure Island, Elvis' sunglasses, and even rare baseball cards seem awesome...but in reality it's just junk and tricks sold by the devil. Remember to save your sales slip!

5) The Hellraiser puzzle box
- I would buy this little brain tease only if I could get Oliver Parker to hand deliver it? No? Well this isn't the best stocking stuffer, seeing that giant hooks will spring out and rip your flesh away once you sold it. Best get a gift card instead.

4) A ticket for a swamp tour over at Honey Island
- A vacation can sometimes be the best kind of gift to give...as long as it's nowhere near Honey Island Swamp! Talk about an awful way to spend the New Year!

3) Annabelle 
- I'm still sorta stunned this was given as a nursery gift. I mean how creepy can you get?! I would rather get Billy the puppet from Dead Silence than this lady! Not the best surprise to find under your tree!

2) A Silver Shamrock Mask
- If you hate children then this is the perfect gift to give away. Just remember you need to have taped the big giveaway so they can wear the masks and watch it. If not it's sorta a lack luster gift.

1) Chucky the Good Guy doll.
- Ah Chucky...the gift that just keeps on giving all year! Goes to show you, whatever is the hit toy that year, don't buy it from a homeless man in a black alley! You never know if the soul of a serial killer might be trapped inside!

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